A Shy Students Speaks (Writes) Up

I have a confession to make. Throughout my life I was a top student who did all the work, read all the readings, usually aced all the tests, but to whom teachers always said, “I wish you would speak up in class, Malinda.” I was (and am) shy. Shy, perhaps, does not exactly explain my particular issue. I am absolutely terrified of looking stupid. My brothers have a favorite topic of (wishful) conversation concerning a “life highlight reel.” Anytime something particularly wonderful happens they add it to their reel. When I look back over my life, the moments that stand out most in my mind are those moments where I felt that I made myself (in my eyes) look stupid. It is not even a comic bloopers reel, but rather those horrible moments when I know I did not make the right decision, or do the best I could do, because of course I was always supposed to be perfect. Ironically, at least one of my moments was a time in class when I could not get the nerve to give my professor the answer I knew he wanted.

Graduate school, teaching, some conference presentations finally helped cure me of much of my fear of speaking aloud. Don’t get me wrong, I still perspire and get shaky when I raise my hand or voice my opinion, but at least I can do it now. That being said, I wish there had been an online classroom format like a blog or a wiki for me when I was younger. One of the key reasons I would try and incorporate blogs or wikis into my own classroom would be for the students, like me, who fear to speak without first editing. Richardson makes this point as well, and he adds that this enriches the class learning experience, because “everyone has a voice in the conversation.” That was what my teachers always told me—the rest of the class would benefit from hearing what you have to say. I could not help myself, but hopefully as a teacher, I can help my own students recognize the value of their ideas and how important they are to the class conversation.